Call me what you may, an attempted killer? Maybe. I’ve tried to kill Larry many times over the years, in many ways. What! I guess the good news is my attempts didn’t work and Larry’s still with us.
Let me introduce you to my little friend, Larry the Lump. I actually think I might hate him. Larry first came walking into my life the day after my first child was born, and he won’t go away. I went into the hospital with normal legs, and Larry came home with my husband, me, and the baby. He lives on the inside of my left leg, and he hurts me real bad. And now, he’s growing – getting too big for my britches, so to speak.
Before I knew that Larry was a lipedema nodule, I tried to wrap him away with ace bandages. I rolled him with a rolling pin, I used a fascia blaster so much that my leg turned purple. And I bought several physical therapy rollers and also many, various pokey things to try and get rid of him.
I thought Larry was a nasty tumor, and I had so many MRIs and tests to figure it out, but without any diagnosis. One day, Larry swelled all the way to my ankle and I had gotten tendonitis – poor Larry was sick. We went to the foot doctor, and then to a foot brace person, who was the first person that identified my leg as having lymphedema. A few doctors later, and I learned I actually have Lipedema, well and lymphedema too, for a little excitement.
Fast forward a few years, I’m finally in touch with Dr. Jaime Schwartz and know that I’ll soon be sending Larry off to another universe. If i could keep Larry in a jar, I would. I doubt Dr. Jaime will let this happen. Surgery’s not yet scheduled, but approved. I’m hoping for March of this year.
And the day that it happens, I’m wearing a T-Shirt that says, “Die Larry, you Jerk.” I really will do it. And all my friends and family, who’ve wondered what exactly Larry was for all this time will also say Good Riddance to Larry.
