Hi Friends!
I love to go barefoot and wear cheap flip flops in the summer. About two summers ago, I got a bad case of tendonitis in my left foot and had to get some physical therapy to get me walking enough to go on a trip I’d planned with my Girl Scouts for many months. It was during these treatments that I learned I had lipedema. I also learned that lipedema could be the cause of my constantly-hurting feet. (My feet have been miserable on big cooking days like Thanksgiving for years.) My foot doctor suggested I start wearing sensible shoes and always always have good arch support. No more bare feet.
The doctor gave me the name of some local stores that have good arch support shoes, but sadly I naturally have a big foot (13WW) so none of the stores had anything to offer me. I opted for some men’s New Balance black tennis shoes for walking on my trip as they are easy to get and can be worn with black slacks in a pinch on a dress up night.
When I got home from my trip, I went online, starting with Zappos and searched in my size range for shoes with strong arch support and enough room for changing out the arches if needed. Let me just say, there aren’t a lot of options for a 40 something year old business woman to wear. I selected a few pair that I’ll share with you below. I’ve since discovered I can find most of these shoes on Amazon and take advantage of prime shipping and sometimes dramatically different pricing. Note, good shoes are not cheap, but they tend to last significantly longer than other shoes I’ve bought.
At the same time as I ordered my new Sensible Shoes, I went to my closet and packed up all the cheap flip flops, 27 pairs of high heels, every pair of flats I own (many pairs of the same black flats), and all the cheap tennis shoes, and I took them to the donation center. I just had to pull the bandaid off all at once. I saved myself two pairs of good heels for special occasions – I have yet to wear either of them. And now most mornings when I wake up, I slip on a pair of easy shoes that I bought during this first pass.
So I order these shoes and a couple of days later the delivery person drops a package off with them. I opened the boxes and sat there and cried really hard. ALL of these shoes were just butt ugly. And I’m not an old lady and I shouldn’t have to wear these stupid shoes. I felt so robbed and sad about the loss of shoe choices.
Begrudgingly I started wearing, at first the Aravons, with slacks and with my compression socks. At work, not one person noticed unless I told them. OK, these were going to be ok.
I kept the sandals in a box for months until one day I decided that was it and I wore them. On the first day, I got some complements from other ladies and decided they weren’t that awful. And the complements came from slim ladies and ladies with regular legs, so they were also going to be ok.
The last pair – the Mary Janes – are cute from the front, but the back just looks like the orthopedic shoe my grandma would wear. There’s no getting around it. But also, they are ridiculously comfortable. I wear them when I travel to DC and have to go back and forth between buildings all day. My feet feel like they’re on supported puffy clouds. Still – ugly. I won’t wear them with dresses or skirts – I only will wear them with pants long enough to cover up the horrendous backs. They’re so comfortable, you kind of quit caring. My daughter harasses me every time I wear them, so I hide them well.
For hiking, I bought a pair of men’s Merrill low-top hiking shoes, actually at the local sporting goods store men’s department. These shoes have the best arch support of all, but I can’t get away with wearing these babies to work. They’re ugly as hiking shoes are, but I plan to wear them to Europe with my girl scouts when we do get to go, and I also wear them with Jeans occasionally and for actual hiking. These shoes feel amazing and I WISH Merrill would make a woman’s shoe in my size that I could wear with slacks…someday I will spend time advocating for this, but I’ve got other fish to fry today.
So now, my feet don’t hurt as much any more, except where I have a new lipedema nodule on my left ankle (‘curly’ is what I’ve named it). And I no longer cry when I look at the shoes. I’ve accepted it. And I honestly don’t have any reason to put on those heels. On most dressy occasions, if I wear a black base with pants or long skirt, those Aravons do just fine. I’ve learned to dress with cuter tops, nicer hair and makeup, and scarves/jewelry to draw the eye up away from my feet and legs. It will work and it will be just fine.
May your feet not hurt, and may you get past the crying stage soon enough.
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